Have you ever tried to do it all? I have. We all do in one way or another because we think more is, well, more. When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, that is often what we do: we plan for more because we want a better life. We make a long list of things we will finally get done this time—just like last year and the year before and so on.

Don’t get me wrong; I appreciate a good new year’s resolution list. The challenge is not having one but thinking that our life will be better if we do more.

But is it? Is “more” the best for our lives? Is “more” what God calls to do? What if there is a better way than “more”? What if the path to fulfillment is not doing everything but what matters most?

Today and for the next two Sundays, we are going explore the topic of doing what is best, not what is more. Think of it as quality over quantity.

So, as we consider and pray about what this new year will bring, I want you to think about how you will choose what is best for you and those you care about.

To learn about this, there is a story of two sisters who are like water and oil, day and night, salt and sugar (you get the point) regarding their personalities and how they choose to live their lives. They are Martha and Mary. These two sisters will teach us a lot during this series of messages.

Here is their story from Luke 10:38-44,

“Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at Jesus’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her, then, to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things, but few things are needed—indeed only one. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Mary and Marth are mentioned by name only three times in Scripture: Luke 10: 38-42, John 11:1-44, and John 12:1-11. They were sisters of Lazarus, who lived in Bethany, just outside Jerusalem. (Lazarus is the one who died -and later was resurrected by Jesus- for whom the Bible tells us “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).)

From these four verses, we learn that when Jesus came to Bethany, Martha welcomed him but immediately became too busy “with many tasks.” I imagine she was preparing her house and serving their unexpected guests. I can see her getting busy right away, cleaning the place, making room for everyone, and sending people to get what she needed to cook as she was preparing a meal to serve Jesus and the other disciples. I am guessing at least over 20 people showed up at her door without being expected.

What would you do if people showed up unannounced at your house, and you had to make room for them and offer your hospitality? Many of you would probably freak out and say, “Uh, there is no one home!”

But not Martha. Martha’s mind and hands got busy right away. I can almost hear her thoughts running wild, “What would be right for dessert? A little goat cheese with a tray of fresh fruit? Do we have enough wine? Will Jesus and his followers stay overnight? Better clean the bedrooms and toilets!”

Clearly, she is in charge, the one who tells others what to do, as she is busy getting things done herself. In other words, she is the one who does the “dirty work” while everyone else is having fun.

But where is Mary? Doesn’t she have a sister? She does. With all the running, working, and rushing to get things ready for the guests, there sits Mary, seemingly oblivious to Martha’s urgent dedication and concern. Rather than assuming the role of a host like her sister, Mary takes her place as a student at the feet of Jesus—not much of a help to her sister.

If you have brothers or sisters, you can imagine what Martha was thinking about Mary right then—and it was probably not nice things. Martha could not just yell at Mary to get her to help her because they had guests. Still, I am sure she used numerous gestures and tactics to grab her attention and command her to move, like clearing her throat, giving the “evil eye,” and making noise with the pan, but nothing worked because Mary only had eyes and ears for Jesus at that moment.

So, Martha had to resort to a last-measure approach, calling her out publicly, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her, then, to help me.”

Martha had it, and she told on her sister. You can almost hear the tone in Martha’s complaint about Mary; she was doing all the work, and no one seemed to notice or care—not even her sister. (I wish Luke had spent more time describing this event instead of just writing four verses about it!)

However, Jesus’ answer was not what she expected. She may have thought Jesus would say something like, “Mary, what are you doing here? Go help your sister.” But that is not what happened. Instead, Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things, but few things are needed—indeed only one. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

I can see Martha lighting up, “Master, I think I heard you say, “Mary chose the better part.” But I must be mistaken. Right?” If this were me instead of Martha, I would probably reply to Jesus, “Not fair! How can you say that? Don’t you care about me too?” But Jesus’ point was not about who was right or wrong. Jesus did not say, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” He knew they were not the same—just as we all are different and unique in our personalities and gifts, so they were. So, Jesus’ answer to Martha was not a comparison but a lesson about choice. He said, “Mary has chosen the better part…” His answer highlighted the importance of choosing what is best at any given moment.

But how would Martha have known what was best? Perhaps the most revealing thing of Jesus’ statement and the answer to our question is when he said, “few things are needed—indeed only one.” Jesus told Martha they were not in need of anything; they were not asking for anything. All the trouble Martha was going through was of her own making. She thought she needed to do all those things for them but instead, she was missing the one thing that truly mattered: Jesus.

This happens to us too. My guess is that many things we do that we say we must do are things of our own making. We become slaves to things that are not needed but we convince ourselves that we must do or get them. So, we chose more rather than the best.

Therefore, Jesus’ answer to Martha is the answer we need. First, he saw her just as he sees us. He understood her complaint and that it came from her being overwhelmed. Second, he loved her too much to give her what she wanted. Instead, he gave her what she needed—an invitation to listen more, worry less, and draw closer to him. And third, he reminded Martha -and us- what to be “concerned” with, where to focus, and what should take a front-row seat in our minds: a companionship, a relationship with him.

Metaphorically, all of us are like Martha and Mary in one way or another. How often do we let the Martha in us become overwhelmed by all the demands of our human existence that we don’t have time to listen, pray, or sit quietly in the presence of God? We want to listen like Mary but the Martha inside us keeps bossing us around about things that are probably not that important or needed. So we get caught in the performance trap, feeling we must prove ourselves to God and everyone else by doing more.

I know we all have jobs to do, households to run, a spouse to love, children to care for, family members to deal with, errands to run, and all the unexpected extras that come at no charge and so little time to get everything done. Often it feels as if we are standing on the bottom step of a ladder that stretches up to heaven—so daunting that we think it is impossible to get there unless we do more. So we are tempted to think, “I need to do more to be worthy, deserving, and wanted.” Does that sound familiar? More often than not, this life feels more like a race against time than a gift. But life is not race; it is indeed a gift.

Here is the invitation and good news: Jesus’ words to Martha are the words he wants to speak to our hearts: “You are worried and distracted by many things, but few things are needed—indeed only one.” The “one thing” is not found in doing more but in sitting at his feet. So, this year, make God a priority in your life and everything will fall into place.

And the good news is what Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-29, “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

What this means is that when we choose Jesus, we discover that we are never truly alone or without help. We experience that his grace is sufficient for all that we face. And we find inner peace and strength to face whatever comes our way.

My prayer and hope are that we may make better choices that nourish our souls in this new year. So let’s listen more and worry less.